August 25th, 1981

Up early for coffee and newspaper on the patio with John and Wendy I iron pants and a shirt while the Today Show is on. We sit at the kitchen table and discuss John’s resume and a job in Boston he is very interested in. John leaves and Wendy comes into my room as I shave. I lay on the bed with Sadie and Wendy takes photos of us. Now she has gone around the corner to Curt Barlowe’s Studio. I am about to shower and dress for lunch with friends from J. Walker Thompson.

Today has been like a segment of “This Is Your Life”. It started out as lunch with the Thompson buddies– Trish, Pedro, Margie, Murry, Bari– and escalated into an entire afternoon of visiting all my old jobs on “F” Street. I stopped by Garfinckel’s first. Then I stopped at Pla/Mauro and had coffee; then Hecht’s where Greg asked if I wanted a job; then Woodies, which I haven’t visited in ages. So many faces– people who I’ve worked with, shared with– who were part of my life for awhile. It was marvelous for my ego– I felt good about myself today and I felt like the successful New Yorker in town for a visit.

Then tonight everything seemed to get scrambled. I came home to find Wendy giving the dogs baths. She had already walked and fed Sadie. She and John have been walking and feeding Sadie since I got here– including her in their regiment with Luke. I just felt like I was neglecting my dog or something. Then Wendy and John began to clean house– presumably to make it more comfortable for David tomorrow. I felt like I should help– but I was leaving for a meeting. I felt like all I’ve done since I got here is run around– leaving them to tend to my dog and the house. John asked if I would buy some coffee– and, even though I was planning to, I became overly sensitive– fretting that my visit is straining their hospitality. Plus I was saddened by the thought that tonight would be my last AA meeting in Washington– and the warmth I have felt for these men is enormous. And, to top it off– I am naturally anxious about David’s arrival. Will Wendy and John like him– will he be comfortable– what will it be like between us– is the romance still on? And blah blah blah.

I almost wish that this whole thing were over. I feel like I am juggling too many feelings and details. I wish David and I were back in Manhattan. I am truly in a tailspin over all these silly-assed details.

In the middle of all this, Allan calls– stoned– just to bullshit. Nothing could have been more inappropriate or ill-timed.