Nearly midnight— I just got home from an evening in Hoboken with Phil. He made a wonderful dinner. I gave him the set of ceramic fish chopsticks I brought back from Providence. He rented a movie— “A Place in the Sun” and we sprawled on the sofa like lovers and watched TV. He stretched out and lay his head in my lap. I stroked his thick strong arms. God, I love him. I will always love him. As Elizabeth Taylor said to Monty as he waited on Death Row, “I will go on loving you for as long as I live”. Phil has put on weight. A lot, actually. I love him all the more. He talks to me casually about Morey. How very much Morey wants me to visit in the country. Fuck Morey. I hope Morey gets hit by a truck tomorrow. I hate Morey. How I wanted Phil to take me in his arms and carry me to bed. He didn’t. Once, he went downstairs for tea and I went into his bedroom and buried my face in his pillow. Breathing his smell, pressing my face into the smell of his body.
August 31st, 1982
August 31st, 1982
August 31st, 1982
Nearly midnight— I just got home from an evening in Hoboken with Phil. He made a wonderful dinner. I gave him the set of ceramic fish chopsticks I brought back from Providence. He rented a movie— “A Place in the Sun” and we sprawled on the sofa like lovers and watched TV. He stretched out and lay his head in my lap. I stroked his thick strong arms. God, I love him. I will always love him. As Elizabeth Taylor said to Monty as he waited on Death Row, “I will go on loving you for as long as I live”. Phil has put on weight. A lot, actually. I love him all the more. He talks to me casually about Morey. How very much Morey wants me to visit in the country. Fuck Morey. I hope Morey gets hit by a truck tomorrow. I hate Morey. How I wanted Phil to take me in his arms and carry me to bed. He didn’t. Once, he went downstairs for tea and I went into his bedroom and buried my face in his pillow. Breathing his smell, pressing my face into the smell of his body.