December 29th, 1976

So now I wonder.

Richard called me at work the next day. I was curt and cold. He seemed astonished at my attitude– after such a nice weekend with me. Then I asked if he had a good time at the bar last night with Gregg. He seemed even more astonished. “I saw Gregg.” “That’s all.” “That’s all, we didn’t even speak.” “That’s not what I heard.” “What did you hear?” “Gregg told me that you were asking for me, that I should come to the bar.” “But we didn’t even speak.”

So, anyway– Richard is now furious with Gregg for what he says must be an obvious attempt by Gregg to cause trouble between Richard and I. That he’s jealous because I spent the weekend with Richard.

And Richard swears they did not speak at the bar. I think I believe him. So why did Gregg call me from the bar and imply that he and Richard were visiting at the bar? Why– when he saw that I was upset when he got home– did he not explain to me that they did not speak? Why let me believe that something had happened?

A main ingredient of friendship for me is being sensitive to each other’s needs and feelings. In all the time I have known any of the people whom I consider friends– Lynn, Gayle, Peggy and Ed, Allen– I have never felt that they would do anything deliberately to hurt me. Yet this is twice now in four months that Gregg has done something that just totally baffled me with it’s seeming lack of concern for my feelings.

Conversation with Maryjean.

Immaturity of gay romantic fantasy.

Aspects of Gregg’s personality– (manipulation of Bill)

Two encounters about Richard.