Just boarded Metroliner to Philadelphia. Hasn’t left the station yet. Tired from an exhausting day at work. Wonderful blonde lady filing her nails next to me. Bells are clanging and men are yelling out on the platform. Strange twilight feeling inside the train. An entire weekend with Gene. In an hour or so I can touch him. Four nights to sleep with him. I bury haunting anxieties softly inside. I feel my vulnerability– but forge ahead.