January 13th, 1976

[continued]

Inner voices: “Wouldn’t you like to go back with Richard? Now that you know. Face up to it. You’re a grown homosexual man. You’ve been living in a painful fantasyland for three years. And you’re running headlong into another nightmare tunnel. Look at you and Jeff already. You’ve blown this up into a fantastic love affair. And that simply is not the case.  

You’re hopeless, Larry. Hopeless. You are going to spend your entire life as a pitiful neurotic dealing with endless persons– passions that can never be satisfied on this earth, in this life. You’re a dreamer.

Janis Joplin wailing through a drunken night: “One good man– honey it ain’t much. It’s only every little thing.”

Adolescent fantasies of romantic love.

Independent, self-fulfilling.