First morning in my new apartment. Allan, Jim, and Lynn helped me move yesterday. Bright sunny apartment with visions of being a home.

For the first time though, now I am really all alone. The emptiness of the apartment and the unexpected reality of being alone are affecting me strangely. Living alone. It’s been so long. So far away. No phone. No furniture. No money. I feel barren.

It’s difficult to explain how, at times like this, I psychologically fly back to Richard. This past week I’ve been building up to this weekend– getting my own apartment– and I’ve felt so independent of Richard. This morning I would give anything to be with him. Not to be alone.