January 29th, 1978
A weekend rolls past me. I am on a roller coaster. For no apparent reason I am having a wonderful time. I wonder if the rest of the world enjoys living as much as I do? I love every minute of it.
I’ve been busy this week. That makes everything better. I need to be busy. Wednesday, Jim was in town and spent the night with me. The next day his car was broken down– the clutch was out– and he was here until Saturday waiting for repairs. We had a nice visit and I know now that there is no romance but we still like to be sexual with each other. Maybe sensual is a better word.
Friday night we went out. On almost no money, both of us got drunk. Jim, who lives in total isolation on a mountain in Virginia loved the process of going out and putting yourself on the sex market. Oh, the bars. After weeks now of not even thinking of going out, I have been out several times this week and had a ball.
Friday night I tricked with a guy named Joe and I have fallen in love.
MEN WHO I HAVE LOVED:
I decide to become very affirmative in my concepts of love and it’s a role in life. I know better than conventional theory. Marriage is a social device for protecting yourself against the uncertainties of life. For those of us who have the strange idea that uncertainty is the basis of growth, rejection of the institution is the starting point for love. Marriage eliminates spontaneity.