July 12th, 1981

A perfect, relaxed, restful day. I went to mass at St. Joseph’s. The bright sunny interior booming with majestic organ music, the smell of incense. After mass Sadie and I strolled through Washington Square. Then I went to breakfast at the Waverly restaurant; pancakes and scrambled eggs and hot black coffee and the Times crossword puzzle. Home again, Allan and I watched The Invasion of the Body Snatchers on television. Then we both went to the laundromat. We went to Julius and had a drink (Saratoga water, for me) while the clothes washed. Then back home, I cleaned my bedroom, changed my sheets, played with Sadie who was in a feisty mood, and mopped the kitchen floor. Then I went to the produce market around the corner (a delightful new discovery) and bought lettuce, cucumber, an avocado, salad dressing, a plum and a peach. Then I came home and made a wonderful salad. I half-napped on the sofa while watching television. Joanne, my AA friend, called to say she was back from her week at the beach. She said she was planning on going to Perry Street. I told her I would meet her there. I got there before her and got a seat. Perry Street has been depressing me lately. The group seems so down and out, so negative. I knew I didn’t feel like sitting there– so I walked over to Washington Square and saved a seat, then walked back to Perry Street to tell Joanne what I was doing. I met her on the street. Good to see her. I enjoy her vitality and her sobriety after one feels so good. She went with me to Washington Square. Familiar faces. Don, Jean, Jason, Woody. It was a good meeting. I stared at all the sober handsome faces. Some day I will have a sober love affair. After the meeting Bill and I went for coffee at the Bagel. We sat and laughed and drank 7-UP. Jim called to see if I am OK– he said this afternoon when we spoke I had sounded “dejected.” Jesus, the most perfect word. Jim had a date last night and didn’t call late. God, I am ashamed to admit this, but I am actually jealous of Jim. I did sound pouty and dejected. It frightens me and pleases me to know how well Jim is coming to know me. Now, late night, I am curled in front of the television. Allan and Sadie are both snoring and I am watching a movie about the circus. My heart is beating with deep contentment. Larry is very, very happy.