July 28th, 1981

Johnny Carson and the Tonight Show: late night quiet summer evening at home. I have been on the floor playing with Sadie and her squeak toy. I just had a wonderful phone call to Naomi in Oklahoma. The love between us is so sure and familiar. She feels like family. Miss Waite you have got to watch those long distance calls. But it was after 11 and Naomi makes me feel so loved and secure. I went to a meeting at Perry Street tonight. A combination of air conditioning and cigarette smoke made the meeting a test of contact lens wearing stamina. I told Naomi about my drink attack over the weekend. She suggests its time to start filling my life up with sober activities. She’s right. It occurs to me that I really want to structure my life more around enjoying New York as a city. I have yet to attend an opera. There is such a wealth of off-off Broadway with tickets under $5.00– that there’s really no excuse for my not going regularly. I need to plan my approach more carefully. A program for enjoying New York. I also really want to learn to speak Italian. Regardless of the consequences, I really want to write a short story and submit it for publication. Just to experience the process. There’s much to be done. Now I got bed and masturbate, recalling nights of love making, with Phil’s cock up my ass, him sweaty lying on top of me slurring sex love in my ear.