June 26th, 1978
I drink into long summer nights.
Life must be done spontaneously. Anything done by rote has lost some value.
Tomorrow I supposedly have a job interview. I languish and amuse myself with pastimes.
What Larry needs is someone to love. It’s what he was made for.
Let others fail. I will show you how to win…
Winning right now means holding steady. Staying in the middle. Riding for awhile. I must stay settled till I am out of debt. All my years tell me to hold still for a minute.
So I stay home and knock myself out because on my budget I can afford little else.
Julian called me at work today. In town on business and with his mother. She is here on vacation (here and New York) until mid-July. So nice on the phone. Made me want to get fucked by him again. Made me want to get fucked by anybody.
Horniness consumes me.