June 4th, 1971

Deadline night.

Last night, in a rush of motivation I stayed late and pasted-up Army Orders. My head was really into doing it– but I stayed until 11:00 PM and was dead tired all day today. I think today was the closest I have been to getting strung out again and “off” this glorious high I’ve been on since Gulfport. I really didn’t cope with a lot of my encounters very well– but, better than before.

Actually, I am writing compulsively now. and that’s wrong. I mean, my head is full of a lot of thoughts that have piled up the last two days and rather than just let them keep on racing hysterically in circles in my head I want to sort them out neatly and get them in my book. But, I’m too tired.

I can hear the guys upstairs moving about and laughing. It annoys me because I know I would be as alien if I were to go up there now as if a stranger were to walk in.

Peggy and Ed just came in– I hear them all talking and it sounds as if some other people (I don’t recognize the voices) are with them.

Tomorrow is the art of a super-busy and, hopefully, high five days. Must get my shit together first though– tomorrow.

Oh, I found out today that American University has a non-degree program that sounds too ideal for me to be true– so I’m definitely going to check that out on Monday. My God, that is too much to hope for. Please, God, wherever you are