March 13th, 1973
I know that the forces and systems of thought that have perpetually tormented me internally– also have operated in precise proportion to the world about me.
The things that have oppressed me as an individual have sabotaged– distorted my dealing with reality.
Transcending my oppression by responding in the here and now to what is happening with Bill frightens me. I cling to my neurosis. Yes I am gay– gay gay gloriously gay– but can I feel that enough to love someone else who is gay?– not hate him for all the parts of myself that I’ve suffered for having?
I can’t believe that– now that this is happening to me I would be so anxious– what a mammoth feat of daring excitement it seems to me to be opening, opening my life my world to another human being– to start to feel all the politics of liberation I’ve been thinking–