March 13th, 1976

I know now that Richard and I will not get back together. It’s a fact that has been extraordinarily hard to accept. The phone calls– the visits– the need.

Do I miss him?– or do I find the uncertainties of guiding my own life too ominous?

I’ve been out of the saddle for the past couple of weeks. The lack of energy, melancholia– but kept pace like a trooper. I learn to admire myself.