March 22nd, 1972

Now there are only two more days left to work at Army Times. the past week has been miraculous for me. To describe it as a rejuvenation wouldn’t be adequate. It’s just as if I started really living intensely. I’ve really been getting my shit together. I am determined to be very neat, organized, well groomed, alert, and healthy. And, now– away from Army Times, and drawing on some energy source rooted in my acid trip is an intensity– a call to arms, that was never present before.

Nervous, speedy-sort-of hyper-tension between Gayle and myself today. Sometimes I think we really dislike each other and that our love-making is really a fight– some cooperative battle. George and four of his friends, Steve, Dave, and Dave (three friends) all came over looking for Ed to buy dope. Peggy and Ed hadn’t gotten back from Penna yet. George and company stayed for a while– with George rolling and filling a hash pipe all the time. I was struck with how odd vibrations seem between myself and these four freak straight guys. I know that my sexual identity very seldom figures into personal relationships– that’s an attitude that I’ve prided myself on. I do not think of myself as homosexual– nor do I think of myself as heterosexual– and I try to attach little significance to other people’s sexual inclinations. Those are such limiting ways to categorize a human personality. At any rate– it was strange to be accepted as and deal with other guys as a typical straight mentality. 

Solomon is lying at my feet– nose buried between outstretched paws. The clock that Jay made me is ticking away. I am writing with the yellow pen I got at the Kodak seminar in Rochester. 

Tomorrow night will be my final ordeal by fire with the Army Times Crew– Jean is having a “farewell bash” at her apartment for me– only the “goodies” are invited– Bob, Eleanor, Gayle, Yolanda, etc. I will live through the next two days.