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May 10th, 1981
First night in Andy’s apartment. My new temporary home. After a month of displacement, good to be alone, late night– TV comforting– Sadie curled next to me on the sofa.
Feeling up against an intellectual and emotional wall. I realize that these first ninety days of sobriety is largely a time of mental fog-lifting. Already my mental powers seem sharper, finer. I don’t feel distracted so much. I remember better. I am more articulate internally. The fog of depression is lifting. But I feel that it is very important for me to sort out and articulate my ideas about a “Higher Power”– God. And what I have at hand is a jumbled bag of crap– a mixture of indiscriminate half-thoughts.
I’m tired and sleepy.