May 25th, 1977

Last night Lynn came over and we went out “for a ride.” We ended up at Kelly’s on Capitol Hill and visited there for awhile. When I got home Gregg was here with his friend Kelly. We all went up to the Country Club. Old times to be out with Gregg again. Conrad, my Sunday night trick who was too tired to see me last night, was there. Grinning when he saw me. Lots and lots of drinking and dancing and poppers and finally I found myself trying to talk Conrad into spending the night with me. That pisses me off. Lord, the levels we stoop just to have a body to hang onto for the night. I did go home with him and woke up in the middle of the night alone in bed. Apparently I had passed out the moment I got in bed and he had slept on the sofa. Early this morning he got in bed with me and we snuggled for a couple of hours.

I then walked home and ostensibly am waiting for the plumber to come fix the toilet. If he comes early everything is fine. But I have to be in the office by noon.

Roger and Allen: another marriage bites the dust. Just never worked out right. Allen the artist. Roger the ordinary. A helluva nice fellow, but he and Allen seem to be totally incompatible. The real tragedy, I suppose, is the enormous amount of energy the two of them had devoted to the relationship. Both gave up homes and wildly different lifestyles and sets of friends to live together.

Where is Hollywood when you need it? Whatever happened to True Love and happily ever after?

—-

Did Gene really love me? Did I really love Gene? Or weren’t we both seeking refuge from our loneliness. I want REAL LOVE to be more overpowering. How easily we have dismissed each other.