November 19th, 1981
Today’s lesson: How to Experience Real Feelings Without Obsessing
Tony and I went for coffee after Washington Square tonight. I like him very very much. I am extremely attracted to him. He is scruffy and blunt. He has a sidewise smile and a deep happy laugh. He has honest vulnerable eyes. He is tough and aggressive. Is he interested in me? Yes, I think so. Will this develop into something more? God I hope so. This hurts in the old-fashioned Shirley Bassey manner. I don’t want that. But I’m so relieved to feel it. I am going to lie down quietly now and close my eyes and turn this over to my cowboy who loves and protects me and will give me anything I need. I will snuggle now in my cowboy’s arms and listen to the sound of my Bassey tapes fading fading fading.