Great flying through work today. The rollercoaster heads up again. After work I meet Allan at the subway. Nearly winter feeling of “F” Street. The time was turned back to daylight savings time Saturday night. Now it is dark when we leave the store at night. Christmas and parties and holidays twinkling in the crowded streets of “F” Street. I walk to the subway with Russ and Susan. At the subway I see people from work. On the subway we sit in front of little Bobby from the Hecht Co. We visit and chat. Bobby has just purchased a new book called “The Joy of Gay Sex”– a beautifully illustrated book of erotic art and narrative of gay male sex. Now I’m at Allan’s buzzing to dope and red wine and Carole King. Allan has just finished painting his kitchen. Water is running the kitchen (now yellow) sink. From here I am walking to Richard’s. We’re going to my place tonight to watch Madame Butterfly on television and smoke dope and drink and probably fuck. I long for Julian and torment myself with concern for how neurotic my need for a lover is. I continually attempt to convince myself that I am attractive.