October 1st, 1981
To be entirely willing to have this character defect of self-hatred removed means a complete willingness to cooperate with and to allow a total restructuring of my emotional foundation. I hesitate before I take this step. I am told that abused children seldom want to leave when attempts are made to remove them from their homes. I feel as though this fourth step is like a social worker arrival to take me away from the terrible abuse of my father and mother– and I am afraid to leave. I am going. I am leaving. Goodbye, Lawrence and Jeri and your terrible, twisted drama. I am leaving and I am taking this frightened, unloved, scared little boy with me. Help has arrived– and I am entirely willing.