These days are burdens. I feel so near to having my life the way I want it– and so frustrated with where I still am and the problems I am still dealing with. Since January my life has been dominated by my financial situation. When I left Richard I was behind on all my bills– had borrowed money from Marijean for deposit on my apartment and had to come up with the first month’s rent very shortly. That situation has perpetuated itself for ten long months now– and the constant pressure of being broke has taken me to the limits of mental exhaustion. I drink and get stoned because it is only when I am totally narcotized that the worrying seems to be alleviated.
October 4th, 1976
October 4th, 1976
October 4th, 1976
These days are burdens. I feel so near to having my life the way I want it– and so frustrated with where I still am and the problems I am still dealing with. Since January my life has been dominated by my financial situation. When I left Richard I was behind on all my bills– had borrowed money from Marijean for deposit on my apartment and had to come up with the first month’s rent very shortly. That situation has perpetuated itself for ten long months now– and the constant pressure of being broke has taken me to the limits of mental exhaustion. I drink and get stoned because it is only when I am totally narcotized that the worrying seems to be alleviated.