October 6th, 1978

I am, for the first time in my life, beginning to develop a sense of self-confidence and some inner security that I have always lacked before. And not unconsciously. I’ve always been acutely aware of my basic instability. It has always tormented me. Now, suddenly, I seem to be gaining some control I never really had before.

This is not a good time in my life for me to be submissive and forgiving in a relationship. I am searching for someone to complete my self-confidence, not detract from it.

I have too much self respect to allow someone to treat me so carelessly, so casually, so contemptibly.

I relate very much to the problems that John is going through now.

I can’t condone the way he is doing this at all.