September 30th, 1981
Another deluge of activity at work. Using the program every day. “I will relax and not get tense. I will fear nothing, because everything will work out in the end. I will practice soul-balance and poise in a changing and vacillating world. I will claim the power of God, and use it– because if I don’t use it, I will be withdrawn. so long as I get back to God after each task and have my strength renewed, no work is too hard.” Getting through a typical day in that office requires a moment by moment maintenance of concentration– getting through the day step by step– first things first. And somehow, through deliberate use of the program– there is an element of joy that pulses quietly through the work– and shines in my dealing with people. I am learning how to work. I am learning how to deal with pressure and tension and maintain balance and poise. And I am learning to separate my job from my self-concept– to keep my ego out of the spotlight. I am learning to keep my job in the right focus. This is how I make a living. This is how I pay rent and buy dog food.
And I pray that this current work load will not burn me out the way the last couple of times have.
I went to St. Luke’s tonight. Afterward, coffee at the Bagel with Joanne and Dale, a new member– 2 weeks sober.
Tonight Show on television– telephone call to Jim. Ice cream and snuggling with my dog.