September 5th, 1981

[continued]

It flashes– suddenly, powerfully like a jagged sharp line of lightening across a calm twilight sky: the craving, primal and intense, to get stoned. Cleaning house, enjoying a day at home. A Grace Jones album evokes last Fall- the drinking, the whoring, the drugging. Sunday afternoon at the Ramrod, the corner of Christopher and West thronged with hot men in blasting sunlight. Right now, this moment I want it. I want to feel alcohol hot in my body, that first excited flush. I want to feel that bright euphoria of a marijuana buzz. I want to get stoned.