I don’t know whether the fact that Richard id still alive tonight should be attributed to an awesome will to live on his part, the phenomenal sophistication and skill of the hospital, or a sheer act of God. Perhaps a combination. I spent last night here alone, staving off the flu with orange juice and sunflower seeds. Thinking about Richard actually dying– flooded with a million feelings and memories. First thing this morning I called the hospital and they told me that Richard’s condition had worsened during the night and he was considered critical now.