Twilight over Missouri: this drama of Larry the lost soul unable to find love. Lovelorn Larry. Lonely-hearts Larry. This condition of perpetual lovelessness— cast in the role of a love lorn soul. If one wants anything in this world as desperately as I profess to want a lover— one gets it. Doesn’t one? The years of drinking and drugging did a great deal of damage. My emotional and sexual fantasies— born of childhood neuroses and deepened by alcohol and drug abuse— have stood like an invisible wall between my real self and the world, happiness. My sexuality, wrought in self-loathing and emotional need, has prevented me from loving or being loved.