Another night at home. Today I finally started Scarsdale again. I’m back up to nearly 170, which is where I was last year before I dieted. I remember how good I felt about myself after losing 20 pounds. I remember being at The Eagle with Allan one night, looking hot and knowing it in my tight little Calvin Klein t-shirt. Allan paid me such a compliment, he said “you’re really getting quite a little body there.” Yes, Aunt Doris, hidden beneath this beer belly is the tight little stomach of a hunky number. I am constantly aware that underneath my shirt is a paunchy middle. And being uptight about my body makes sex a nervous affair for me. Hoping they won’t notice. Hoping they won’t care. Hating myself when I see my reflection in a mirror. Oh, here we go again. The reclamation of self-confidence.
January 19th, 1981
January 19th, 1981
January 19th, 1981
Another night at home. Today I finally started Scarsdale again. I’m back up to nearly 170, which is where I was last year before I dieted. I remember how good I felt about myself after losing 20 pounds. I remember being at The Eagle with Allan one night, looking hot and knowing it in my tight little Calvin Klein t-shirt. Allan paid me such a compliment, he said “you’re really getting quite a little body there.” Yes, Aunt Doris, hidden beneath this beer belly is the tight little stomach of a hunky number. I am constantly aware that underneath my shirt is a paunchy middle. And being uptight about my body makes sex a nervous affair for me. Hoping they won’t notice. Hoping they won’t care. Hating myself when I see my reflection in a mirror. Oh, here we go again. The reclamation of self-confidence.